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in the kitchen by aldessa in the kitchen by aldessa
right now there's a stamp going around telling us to "get back in the kitchen.

My response of course, is "Why do you want me in the kitchen? Are you afraid I'll kick your ass if I'm out here?"

Anyway. Here's a formal response about the conditions upon which I'll get in the kitchen.

Of course, if I go, I'll probably just get you a nice, refreshing glass of "Shut the hell up."
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:iconhuntermarch:
huntermarch Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015  Student Writer
I love this. Do they still call them blinkies? Yours are so cool.
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:iconsketchsr:
SketchSr Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There, done.

Now get in the kitchen.
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
you sure as hell didn't pay my bills. Also doubting you grew a pair ;D
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:iconsketchsr:
SketchSr Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You say that you doubt I grew a pair. Would you like to find out? :iconumadbroplz:
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
being as it's only one condition of many, and you didn't fill the others, and more importantly, given that you're probably smelly and live with mom, I'll pass.
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:iconsketchsr:
SketchSr Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Whatever you say man :icongotopotatoplz:
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:icon2cyn:
2CYN Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Student Filmographer
The funny thing is, a lot of Men seem to think that doing things like helping to clean up the house means they don't "have a pair".
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
nothing is sexier than a man who makes sure I don't spend my whole day doing housework.

Ok, there are SOME things sexier. But it really is attractive.
Reply
:iconblackrabbitinchasing:
BlackRabbitInChasing Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012  Hobbyist
Knife jokes are worse than kitchen jokes.
Reply
:iconxfeatheredfury:
xFeatheredFury Featured By Owner May 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I hate these kitchen jokes. They're sexist, but if a man ever tells me to get "back in the kitchen", I'll get a knife. :3
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner May 13, 2012
Make sure you clean it after the stabbing. I hear food can spoil if it soaks up too much blood
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:iconxfeatheredfury:
xFeatheredFury Featured By Owner May 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ha I've heard that too 8D
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:iconginazx5004:
Ginazx5004 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012
lmao f--k the car XD
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012
XD
Reply
:iconautumntheninja:
AutumnTheNinja Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
Haha! xD
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
:D
Reply
:iconshierkhan:
Shierkhan Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012
The times I've told her to get her ass into the kitchen went pretty much like this;
*leave in the morning, come back in the late evening, see her still in the living room working on writing*
Me; "When's the last time you ate?"
Her; "Uh..."
Me; "Lemme guess, you'll grab something in a few minutes...and you've been saying that to yourself since I left?"
Her; "Busted?"
Me; "Big time busted. Now get your tail off the sofa and go tell me what you wanna eat."

She gets caught up in things while writing and keeps putting off making time to eat...to the point where her last checkup indicated she was 20Lbs underweight.
Not healthy.
Reply
:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2012
Well, my first response is that it's good this behavior isn't a result of some desire to look like those scarecrow models. Still, it's not healthy. Glad you're looking after her!

(and thank you for the :+fav: and the watch!)
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:iconshierkhan:
Shierkhan Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2012
You're welcome! We both love your attitude and the way you express it. :D

No, she's no media-slave, it's just a matter of pre-occupation is all. She takes on and tries to do too much in a day.
It was a real problem when I was making frquent extended business trips, but that got fixed with a phone call every night.
Everyone's got some bad habits, at least this one is pretty easy to manage. :)
She's not fond of having this bad habit, so, a little help is all she needs. :)
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:iconshierkhan:
Shierkhan Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012
We both think the stamp is just really Great!!
...also, the description and your general attitude, too. :)

Marlene and I have a deal; I do the cooking and she does the laundry.
Reasons; I'm better in the kitchen than she is, and completely hopeless with laundry, also, I like to cook from-scratch and she hadn't had much of that in life before we got Married.
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:iconagentbabycakes:
AgentBabycakes Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This reminds me of an FML I saw once. This dude told his wife to get back in the kitchen. She went in the kitchen, came back out with a frying pan, and walloped him with it. That woman is my hero.
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2011
I love her already.
Reply
:iconagentbabycakes:
AgentBabycakes Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I can really get behind a woman like that.
Reply
:iconx-cupcakecookie-x:
x-CupcakeCookie-x Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I'd just go to the kitchen to make me something nice. Him I'd tell: Shut up, move your lazy ass up & make your own damn sandwich" :D

But really: Don't men know that all the knives are in the kitchen? :meow:
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011
haha! yeah, I think I'd go the baking route, to fill the house with pleasant smells ... that HE CAN'T HAVE.
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:iconhermione-3000:
Hermione-3000 Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011
SO TRUE :D
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011
:D Thanks for the :+fav:!
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:iconsanguijuela:
Sanguijuela Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I hate kitchen jokes, they're very sexist. :x
Not to mentioned overrated.
(I do LOVE cooking, but I spend more time on the interwebs)

And great comeback btw.
Reply
:iconboeing787:
Boeing787 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2011  Student Photographer
What are you doing out of the kitchen in the first place? Cry me a river, build a bridge and get the fuck back in the kitchen! >:3
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:iconboeing787:
Boeing787 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2011  Student Photographer
Just kidding, btw.
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:iconsanguijuela:
Sanguijuela Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I was going to block you for trolling, but nvm, seeing as your kidding. :XD:
Here's a free troll=> :iconcooltrollplz:
Reply
:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
If I go in the kitchen, it'll be to make my OWN sammich. And then I'll kick his ass on whatever game he's playing.

Thanks for the :+fav:!
Reply
:iconthemarquisofdorks:
TheMarquisOfDorks Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2011  Student General Artist
Why do they tell us to go to the kitchen? All the knives are there.
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2011
haha! good point! And WE KNOW HOW TO USE THEM.

(ps, thanks for the :+fav:!
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:icontheubbergeek2:
theubbergeek2 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011
Françoise David approved of this. ;) :)
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011
lol. Thanks!
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:icontheubbergeek2:
theubbergeek2 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011
(Famous feminist activist, then politician now here BTW)
Reply
:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011
I did not know that. But then, I find, that more non-Americans know about American politics than Americans know about foreign politics.
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:icontheubbergeek2:
theubbergeek2 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011
yeah, everyone look at the usa x3
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011
well, you know, we are big and loud. And attention whores
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:icontheubbergeek2:
theubbergeek2 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011
x3
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:iconsmickedy:
Smickedy Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2011
This. I'm busy playing Nazi Zombies, get your own damn sandwich >:C
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2011
exactly! If I go in the kitchen, it's to get MYSELF some ice cream.
Reply
:iconsmickedy:
Smickedy Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2011
Hell, I'm 19 and I dunno how to cook very well yet.. I'm trying to learn but I have trouble learning and remembering simple things ._.

But I know how to cook chicken burgers and simple things like that now :iconrichtofenladanceplz:
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:iconaldessa:
aldessa Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2011
my friend claims he can burn cold cereal
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:iconsmickedy:
Smickedy Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2011
> .> Wuuut?
Reply
:iconblitzkriegoperative:
Blitzkriegoperative Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Sexism is not acceptable! The kitchen joke would never be told a women in real life, all these internet sexist bastards would never say it to their faces.
Reply
:icongray-rose:
Gray-Rose Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't even support a woman telling that to a man, a man telling that to another man or woman telling that to another woman. It's rude and derogatory. People who expect to be taken care of are pathetic and don't deserve a significant other.
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